AZ oneshots
by lirial89
Summary: One-shots spanning the alphabet. Focus on Kirk and Spock, some others. K/S some are very angsty
1. Alien

Just a quick couple of one-shots….

My other story will be updated this week

Don't own anything….

Alien

He could not help it. It was a weakness, a distraction that didn't make sense.

It was illogical and to even contemplate it was beyond everything he had been taught as a child.

How could one Human, one brash, arrogant, insulting human make him feel more strongly than he had ever felt before?

James Tiberius Kirk was illogical and seemed to act without thinking. He was crude and irritating. He shouldn't have mattered to Spock, it made no sense.

But….

James Tiberius Kirk was supremely intelligent and a methodical planner. He set goals and did everything in his power to complete them. He let nothing stand in his way when he thought that things had to change. He was loyal to a fault and always saw an alternate way to do something. He was a survivor. He was passionate and cared so very deeply for everyone he met.

He was completely alien to Spock who thrived on logic and reason.

But at night when they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, Spock wouldn't have it any other way.


	2. Battle

Battle

It was a battle everyday for Jim Kirk.

He was so used to people seeing his father when they looked at him. His mother could barely stand more than minutes in his presence, he looked so much like his dead father now. His step-father had always hated him but that too had gotten worse when he joined Starfleet.

The whispers that had followed him his whole life had only gotten louder one he was at Starfleet.

"See him, that guy? He's Jim Kirk, you know George Kirk's son."

"Oh, Jimmy you look so much like him,"

"Waste of his fathers sacrifice,"

It took a bar fight, a regular occurrence for Jim to discover something that had never occurred to him before.

"Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred people, including you. I dare you to do better,"

He could be better than his perfect father, he could move past the shadow of a dead man and become someone worth something.

"Look! There's Jim Kirk, you know the Captain of the Enterprise, the one who saved the earth."

It was a battle every day to move past his fathers shadow and get people to see him for who he is. But standing on the bridge of the Enterprise was worth every second of it.


	3. Conversations

A.N. thinking of making this one a story not just a one shot… what you think?

Warning: contains mentions of child abuse, rape, suicide and general hate… Don't like don't read.

Conversations

Spock entered the court yard silently, he was considering what the older version of himself had said. _Do what feels right._ How was he supposed to quantify a feeling of rightness? It was an illogical sentiment but instead of simply dismissing it as folly he was trying to work out what Spock Prime had meant.

He slowed to a halt as he heard Cadet – no Captain Kirk's voice along with another male voice that had a similar resonance to it, just by comparing the two quickly he had gathered that they were either related or had grown up together, adopting similar speech pattens and rhythms. The other man's voice was harsher, less refined, lacking the soothing quality of Jim Kirk's.

Spock paused out of sight of the two and debated on wether or not to continue along the path, wait for the conversation to end or turn around and go another way. His curiosity overcame his respect for the brash young man's privacy as he made out the words that were being said.

"Well look at you, Captain Jim Kirk saviour of the Earth," Came the sardonic words of the other man. "If only they knew the real you," the last bit was full of malice.

"Come on Sam, don't do this now," Came Jim's voice full of pleading. "Can't you just be happy I've made something of myself?" there was a faint undercurrent of hope in his voice as he practically begged the other man not to continue speaking. His entreaty was ignored as this Sam continued lash out at him verbally.

"What? You too good to talk about your past now? Worthless bastard! Try too forget all you like Jimmy, I'll always remind you." There was a threat wide open in the harshness of Sam's voice. "I'll start right now actually," he said with a bark of laughter. "How about you living while Dad died? Or how Mom can't even stand to see your face or hear you voice 'cause you sound like him? How does it feel Little Brother to know that our mother hated you for every breath you took because you survived while the love of her life died? How did it feel growing up like that knowing that no one in our family gave a shit about you?" Spock was stunned, this wasn't what he had been expecting at all, he had been expecting congratulations and praise not – hate.

"Sam, stop, please just stop," Jim's voice was soft full of pain and betrayal and something that saddened Spock the most – resignation. As if he didn't expect more from his brother than hate and bitterness, as if he knew no matter how hard he protested his brother would continue to spit out these hated, painful truths.

"Or how about this Jimmy, Mom and I both knew what Frank did to you, we knew the first night. Your stupid screaming woke us both up and when Mom found out what was happening, she gave me a set of ear plugs and told me to forget what we saw. It was so easy to pretend he wasn't fucking you, I'd just look the other way. How old were you the first time Jimmy? Five? Six? Pathetic. How about trying to kill yourself when you were eleven? But you didn't go through with it, you jumped out of the car before it went over the cliff and came back home. You ran away from home when you were fifteen and we thanked every god there is that we didn't see you again. And then we see you on the vid, the fucking hero of the world," he snorted and continued hatefully. "So here I am, just letting you know that no matter how many people you manage to fool, we still know that you're a worthless, pathetic, weak bastard who never should have been born. See ya round Jimmy." He finished with a hateful laugh.

He passed Spock without a glance and continued on his way satisfaction and triumph written on every line of his face. Spock shook slightly trying to contain his volatile emotions, after battling them down again. He decided to continue his walk through the garden, after all surely Kirk would have left too.

He rounded the curve of the path and froze at the sight of Kirk sitting on a bench, his face in his hands and shaking violently, muffled sobs tearing their way out of his chest with painful sounds. Spock was utterly confounded, where was the Kirk that didn't care? The one who was always confident? What were the proper protocols for this? Was he supposed to ignore the obvious distress of the other man, attempt to comfort him, or simply walk away?

Spock didn't know what to do, even if he tried to comfort the other man what was to say he would accept it from Spock. With a last look at the devastated younger man he turned and left silently, giving Jim Kirk his privacy in the violent grief that surrounded him.

Spock cast one last look over his shoulder at the hunched figure and went to find Dr. McCoy.

He found him crossing the large expanse of grass in front of the main office of the Academy. He caught McCoy's eyes and call out to him, with a wary look the older man changed his course and made his way to Spock.

"Commander, what can I do for you?" he asked gruffly, suspicion nearly buried in his accent. "You aren't sick are you?"

"I am not." Spock hesitated before continuing. "I overheard a conversation Captain Kirk was having with his brother and believe he may welcome the opportunity to become inebriated, he is in the courtyard behind the science block." McCoy's sharp mind connected the dots quickly and the look he shot Spock was unreadable.

"How much did you hear?" he asked, his hands in fists at his sides.

"Enough to know that the majority of my thoughts about Kirk were false," he hesitated further then continued quietly. "And that he is much stronger than I ever anticipated." McCoy nodded sharply at that and met his eyes with conviction.

"Jim may act like a idiotic brat but he is the most loyal and trustworthy person you will ever depend on. The boy's a genius and a decent person, neither are things you expect from someone with his past." It was McCoy's turn to hesitate this time. "Jim's refusing to name a first officer, stay with the Enterprise, it'll be good for both of you," he said with conviction. And with that he turned and went to find his best friend.

Spock watched him go and silently mused that maybe staying with the Enterprise was the right thing. Even if all he managed to do was figure out Jim Kirk, a stubborn human who didn't fit into any of the parameters that he could usually class humans in.

How utterly fascinating.


	4. Hate

Hate

Sorry about the jump but this popped into my head last night. hope you guys like :)

Jim hated to lose. He hated to be proven wrong. He hated the unfounded and unjustified comments about him being a cheating playboy. He hated the looks of disgust and dislike that coloured the faces of people who didn't even know him. He hated the whispers and gossip. He hated how no one was willing to look beyond the brash exterior he exerted as a mask, a shield between him and the rest of the world.

He hated that Bones could read him so well. He hated that his mother couldn't look at him. He hated his brother for leaving when he couldn't take Jim with him. He hated his step father with every fibre of his being. He hated his father for dying. He hated Nero for killing his father and destroying Vulcan.

He hated the looks he received after the Narada incident, the ones that said 'good boy, well done, are you going to behave now'. He hates how powerless he feel. He hates the restrictions placed on him. He hates having to bow to others wishes. He hates having to jump through hoops just to keep the Enterprise.

He hates the wide eyed look of absolute trust Chekhov gives him. He hates the blind devotion Sulu gives him after the incident on the drill. He hates the scathing look Uhura gives him every time he speaks to her.

He hates the way women flock to him after his name is in the media. He hates the looks of veiled distain Spock gives him, thinking that Jim can't see it. He hates when Uhura curses him in other languages thinking he can't understand them.

He hates that with the exception of maybe ten people everyone in Starfleet thinks he's a jumped up cadet who never should have got the Enterprise. He hates that everyone thinks he's an idiot. He hates that he didn't warn the rest of the fleet about Nero.

He hates that he cares.

He hates that he would do anything to keep Chekhov an innocent. He hates that he revels sometimes in the look of devotion Sulu gives him. He hates that after a year together on the Enterprise Uhura still looks at him like he's scum. He hates how much it hurts when Spock treats him like a errant child. He hates when he has to censor everything he says, because a captain must act just so.

He hates remembering his past. He hates who he used to be. He hate Admiral Pike for dragging him out of his drunken fog. He hates Spock Prime for giving him hope.

He hates Bones for never letting him fall.

He hates himself for every person he loses.

But most of all he hates that he's broken, that he's shattered, that in another time line he was a real hero. That the other him had Spock's support, Uhura's respect, a reason for Sulu's belief, and a way to preserve Chekhov's innocence. He hates that he knows this deep in his heart and in the memories he had inadvertently been given. He knows and hates that in another life he was a better person.


	5. please read author note

Just a quick note guys.

I'm sorry for taking so long but I've been doing a cert 4's in business and leadership and running a scout cub pack while trying not to kill my brothers girlfriend as I try to mediate between them.

Basically I'm exhausted, my muse has gone in hiding, I'm fighting homicidal urges to destroy stupid girls who should grow brains, my mother is sick and I'm ready to destroy all 23 of my screaming 8-10 year olds.

Want to trade places?

Lol :(

Oh, thanks to all who reviewed, I'll talk more about what you had to say when I post next. And those of you who faved it and are tracking it.

And thank you to "mia-piin" who gave my the fantastic idea for the next one 'Linguistics'. I think I'll leave the date ones for you but I'm so stealing this one! Thanks!

Right, well I'm going to sleep soon and just wanted to let you know what was happening.

PS. My other story is on hold for a little while, while I workout where it's going. Any ideas are welcome….. including how to break Spock and Uhura up and have him get with Jim…. Help?


	6. Linguistics

Hour after hour, day after day he put up with the snide comments and insults from Lieutenant Nytoa Uhura, Senior Communications Officer aboard the USS Enterprise designation NCC – 1701, the flagship of the Federation.

It was a position most of the surviving cadets specialising in Communication had fought tooth and nail for, a position that had been practically given to her after Jim Kirk, newly minted captain and poster boy for the federation had asked for her specifically.

It was a request that he was seriously regretting.

He had asked for every surviving person who had been on the Enterprise during the Narada incident, and had gotten his senior staff to hand pick who they wanted before choosing the rest of the crew. This was _his_ crew and he would do almost anything for them.

It was one thing to have a relaxed standard of day to day interactions with superior officers it was another to be blatantly disrespectful. As Jim had been a cadet with these people he knew he couldn't be the aloof Captain that Starfleet preferred, but he could and did command respect from those who served under him, with few exceptions. The most noticeable being Uhura, her antagonism had grow expansionary as their time aboard the starship had progressed to the point where she was stepping over the line between concealed disrespect and blatant dislike and overt disrespect.

Jim had ignored it for as long as he could, he had put up with every insult she had thrown at him in every language that she knew. She thought that she was being sneaky, that Jim Kirk was basically an uneducated hick – despite the facts laid in front of her, he had graduated in three years, it took most to do it in four, he was top in all his classes, he re-wrote the Kobioshi Maru to let him win, and a host of other things she had never bothered to find out. Like he held degrees in engineering, advanced programming, diplomacy and physics. Like he held the title of Grand Master in chess.

She wouldn't look past who she thought he was and see the skills that he had, she couldn't see the leader that he was and in her mind he didn't deserve her respect or anything else. He was a jumped up dick who lied, cheated, and slept his way to the top. In her eyes he was a faithless whore who never should have gotten into Starfleet.

To her he was worthless.

But he wanted her to see him for who he was, not this unfair and unjust perception of himself. However the time for waiting and hoping was over.

Jim could put up with any insult, he had heard them all before but when she started insulting the others for being 'lapdogs' he had had enough. It was one thing to insult him, he could take it even if he hated it. But when she started insulting Sulu and Chekhov? Hell no.

This was his crew and he was damned if he'd let some insecure little girl insult and hurt his crew just because she had a problem with him and she didn't even have a reason to hate him!

She was half way though a new insult, calling him a 'worthless whore who's only good for-' when he interrupted.

"Lieutenant Uhura," he made sure his voice was controlled and calm. "If you finish that sentence in standard please?" it was not a question, it was an order. She flinched slightly and tried to cover.

"I was merely practicing traditional greetings in Orion… Sir," She said with a small sneer. Jim raised an eyebrow at her, they had the entire attention of the bridge.

"I find that had to believe Lieutenant, unless you were trying to start a war. After all calling a ranking officer a 'worthless whore who's only good for-', how were you going to finish that sentence anyway?" His voice still pleasant and professional, his eyes however were cold and sharp, pining her to her seat.

"I-." She started and was unable to continue that sentence.

"Yes? See the thing is I speak a lot of languages, I like learning and languages are always fun and all those insults you've given me over the past year? Yeah I understood them all." He paused and seemed to notice that everyone was watching with open curiosity even Spock. "I don't particularly care if you insult me, I'm used to the ignorance of uninformed people but I do have issues with you doing it while we're on duty. And if you do it again it'll go in your file. And Lieutenant Uhura? If you insult my crew again I'll have you transferred to the crappiest assignment I possibly can." He finished and without another word he went back to looking over paperwork on PADD. The silence on the bridge was deafening Jim inwardly smirked and ignored the looks that were being shot at him.

He may hate the insults but this? This was fun.

Now all he had to do was get Spock to stop giving him those 'idiot' looks, although he hadn't gotten one of those in a while. Huh. Maybe he was getting Spock's respect, maybe that friendship would be possible…

And maybe, just maybe he could start to hate himself a little less.


End file.
